Whoomp There It Is!

Two weeks ago I typed the last word to my dissertation.  It was a Saturday morning and I remember dancing around my kitchen and silently singing (the kids were still asleep) Whoomp There It Is by Tag Team.  It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  The celebration continued for a few hours as I sporadically broke into a song a dance here and there.  At some point my youngest son noticed my happiness (my oldest son is at the age where if it doesn't concern him and a mirror he doesn't notice you or it) immediately wanted to know what had happened?  Were we suddenly rich?  I laughed, "no," I replied, "I finally completed my dissertation."  "Oh," he replied with the flattest expression on his face, not joining in on my private celebration.  "So does this mean you're finished writing that looooong paper and we can go back to having home cooked meals?"  The look on his face said what a thousand words would never amount to, this kid wanted his mom back.  I told him yes, and then he finally smile and told me that was good, and gave me a hug. I felt like a obedient puppy as he ran off to tell his self-absorbed bother that mom would be cooking more. 
Since completing my dissertation I've submitted it to the editor that my chair recommended and now I patiently await it's return (end of this week) and then began to prepare for my final defense.  In the meantime I have continued to apply for jobs, but the response is still the same, none.  I've started a binder to keep track of the numerous universities that I am applying to, trying to be organized.  But to be honest, it is a little depressing at times.  Over the weekend, I decided on my top three positions, those were I could see myself being the most productive and remaining true to myself as a professional, and I told myself that if I don't get so much as an interview for any of them then God is trying to tell me something, like "Carey, you need to focus on your private practice and speaking vs trying to work on someones 9 to 5." But we shall see. 
These past 6 months have been rough and not working full time has had many draw backs.  A) my income is bleak.  Like poverty level bleak.  I've struggled to keep my head above water and there have been no luxuries, only necessities, and I've found myself choosing which of those I could live without sometimes B) I've had no safety net, like a spouse or partner that I could rely on to have my back during this journey so it has been very lonely.  So yes, I am glad that it is almost over and I can get back to the business of providing for my family like cooking, cleaning and keeping the lights on.  It seems like yesterday that I started on this journey, and to think that it is almost over is amazing to me.  I'm hoping that all of the anxiety, tears, late nights and early mornings will pay off and whoomp, there it is!